Aziz Ansari Talks Met Gala, Kanye West, and Learning to Speak Italian

On the eve of the Met Gala, "Master of None" co-creator Aziz Ansari makes us a smoothie while answering 73 unexpected questions. Aziz talks about his childhood crush on Elaine Benes, his displeasure with the term "foodie," and tries to rank his favorite Kanye West albums.

Released on 4/30/2017

Credits

Starring: Aziz Ansari

Created by: Joe Sabia

Transcript

00:00
(hip hop beat)
00:03
[Aziz] Hey!
00:04
[Interviewer] Aziz!
00:05
What's up? There you are.
00:07
Hope you're ready for a mind blowing 73 question
00:09
interview experience that I'm about to throw down for you.
00:12
Of course!
00:13
[Interviewer] All right, so what's poppin' these days?
00:15
Here in LA, and tomorrow I'm going to New York
00:17
for the Met Gala.
00:19
[Interviewer] All right, what's the next
00:19
vacation you're taking?
00:20
Gonna go back to Italy.
00:21
[Interviewer] When was the last vacation you took?
00:23
I was living in Japan for a couple months.
00:25
[Interviewer] Huh, are you always on vacation?
00:26
Well it wasn't really a vacation,
00:27
I was there writing a script.
00:28
[Interviewer] Did you get a lot of writing done?
00:29
Not really.
00:30
Hey we're in LA, should I make you a smoothie?
00:31
Love it. Let's go.
00:33
Who do you wish you could meet for the first time again?
00:36
Mm, Beyonce?
00:37
[Interviewer] Who was the first person
00:38
to call you with good news?
00:41
Either my parents or Eric Wareheim.
00:43
[Interviewer] Who's your favorite person to write with?
00:45
My little brother Aniz.
00:47
[Interviewer] If you could blast one joke
00:48
into outer space, what would it be?
00:51
All of Richard Pryor Live in Concert.
00:54
[Interviewer] What's your favorite punch line to a joke?
00:56
If that puppy does that, he's gon' be in big trouble.
00:59
I don't know what the setup is,
01:00
but I really like that punchline.
01:01
[Interviewer] What made you realize
01:02
that comedy was a real option for you?
01:04
Sophomore year of college.
01:05
[Interviewer] What's your best Amy Poehler story?
01:08
Her kids always call me turkey sandwich.
01:10
[Interviewer] Did 50 Cent ever confront you
01:12
about that grapefruit joke?
01:14
No he did not.
01:15
[Interviewer] What's one thing about Chris Pratt
01:16
people would be surprised to know?
01:18
He's our most successful Indian American actor.
01:21
[Interviewer] What's the best impression you can do?
01:23
I'm Sandy Kenyon with the Eyewitness News Movie Minute.
01:28
[Interviewer] What was the best lesson
01:29
your parents ever taught you?
01:33
Be nice to people and work really hard?
01:35
[Interviewer] What's the funniest thing
01:36
your dad's ever done?
01:39
Probably when he's annoying my mom all the time?
01:41
[Interviewer] What's the funniest thing
01:42
your mom's ever done?
01:42
Probably when she's getting mad at my dad
01:44
for annoying her all the time.
01:45
[Interviewer] What's the first app you open
01:47
in the morning? I try to keep my phone
01:49
really far away from me.
01:51
[Interviewer] What's your favorite mythical creature?
01:54
Can I say dinosaurs even though they're real?
01:56
[Interviewer] What noise would you play
01:57
as you enter a room?
01:58
(loud vocalizing)
02:00
[Interviewer] (laughing) What's one thing you don't know
02:02
that you want to learn?
02:03
How to cook everything.
02:05
[Interviewer] Can you say something in six languages?
02:08
(speaking foreign languages)
02:15
(speaking Italian)
02:28
What makes South Caroline barbecue different?
02:31
It's a little less racist than Alabama barbecue.
02:34
[Interviewer] What's the most delicious place
02:35
in the world? Tokyo.
02:37
[Interviewer] What's a favorite taco of all time.
02:39
I like Ricky's Fish Tacos, and many other tacos.
02:42
Please don't make me choose one.
02:44
[Interviewer] What's a food trend that you hate.
02:46
The word foodie, stop it!
02:49
People that like food shouldn't get this weird
02:51
fetishey sounding thing.
02:53
Call the people that don't care what they eat food bozos.
02:56
[Interviewer] What's the best fast food restaurant?
02:58
Chick-fil-A, which makes the controversy so heartbreaking.
03:01
[Interviewer] If you were any type of pasta
03:03
what type of pasta would you be?
03:04
Lasagna!
03:06
[Interviewer] If you had a food truck,
03:08
what would the name be? Aziz's Lasagna.
03:11
[Interviewer] What's your spirit animal?
03:13
Apatosaurus.
03:14
[Interviewer] Who is your ultimate style icon?
03:17
Right now Marcello Mastroianni.
03:18
[Interviewer] What fashion trend
03:19
should we most definitely bring back?
03:21
Sweatpants with words on the butt,
03:23
but you integrate it into protest culture.
03:26
So it's like, #JoinTheConversation.
03:30
[Interviewer] Do you have any fashion advice for me?
03:32
Maybe go to a tailor.
03:33
[Interviewer] Hmm.
03:34
You're being honored and giving the story
03:35
at the Moth Ball this year.
03:37
Do you get stage fright?
03:38
No I'm a professional comedian.
03:40
[Interviewer] Not even that time when you hosted SNL?
03:42
Ooh I was really nervous!
03:43
All right, let's go down OK.
03:45
If you wrote the sequel to Modern Romance
03:47
for 40 years into the future, what would the subtitle be?
03:50
Teleportation and Tuggies.
03:52
[Interviewer] How do you make a woman laugh?
03:54
(sighing)
03:56
Be honest, be yourself, try to connect with them,
03:59
hope for the best.
04:00
[Interviewer] What is your best Tinder pickup line?
04:02
Dev's is going to Whole Foods,
04:04
want me to pick you up anything?
04:05
[Interviewer] Who was your childhood crush?
04:07
Elaine Benes.
04:08
[Interviewer] Do you have a dealbreaker?
04:09
Not liking Seinfeld.
04:11
[Interviewer] What's your most overused emoji?
04:13
This guy. (vocalizing)
04:15
[Interviewer] What was your AOL Instant Messenger
04:16
screen name? Well for a while I was
04:19
Megadeath45.
04:21
[Interviewer] Aziz, what's the most amazing gift
04:22
you've ever received in your life?
04:24
(sighing)
04:25
My kids.
04:27
Wait, you have kids? Nope.
04:29
[Interviewer] What's the Met Gala theme this year?
04:31
I think it's,
04:33
OshKosh B'Gosh, a Retrospective.
04:35
[Interviewer] Who are you most nervous to meet?
04:37
Head designer Sebastian OshKosh.
04:39
[Interviewer] If you could have a plus four
04:40
to this event, who would you bring?
04:42
All four members of Boyz II Men so they could sing
04:44
On Bended Knee when I walked in.
04:45
[Interviewer] Is there anything you wanna say
04:46
to Anna before the big night?
04:47
Anna please sit me next to that area
04:49
where they bring out the little trays
04:50
of pigs-in-a-blanket.
04:51
Aziz!
04:52
Hey.
04:54
My wife and I are on the fritz, how do I win back her trust?
04:57
I don't know man, I'm sorry, here's your glasses.
04:59
Oh my Sunnies, thanks!
05:00
[Interviewer] What's your favorite DJ?
05:02
Questlove?
05:03
[Interview] First record you ever scratched.
05:05
Award Tour by Tribe Called Quest.
05:07
[Interviewer] What song do you not wanna hear
05:08
anyone sing ever again on karaoke?
05:10
American Pie.
05:11
[Interviewer] What's your best memory
05:12
of hanging out with Kanye West?
05:13
The time I walked into his house,
05:15
he was listening to 808s & Heartbreak.
05:16
And I said are you listening to your own music?
05:17
And he said yeah, these beats are dope.
05:20
[Interviewer] Can you rank Kanye West's albums
05:21
in order of best to worst?
05:25
There's a tie up top, Watch the Throne
05:27
and Twisted Fantasy.
05:28
Then, I'm gonna go a tie with Yeezus
05:32
and Life of Pablo.
05:33
Then,
05:35
Graduation, then,
05:37
College Dropout, then,
05:39
Late Registration, oh my God, this is so hard.
05:41
[Interviewer] Yeah that is hard.
05:42
Favorite verse from any MC ever.
05:46
Well it's my favorite not the best right?
05:47
[Interviewer] Favorite yeah not best.
05:49
So my favorite is,
05:51
maybe that really silly DMX verse where he just lists
05:53
all his ex girlfriends?
05:55
[Interviewer] Can I please hear some of that?
05:57
No I couldn't do it justice, I'm sorry.
05:59
[Interviewer] Can you at least list
06:00
some of your ex girlfriends?
06:02
Mine? Yeah.
06:06
Well,
06:07
there was
06:08
Brenda, Leticia, Linda, Felicia,
06:11
Dawn, LaShawn, Inez, Alicia, Theresa,
06:14
Monica, Sharon, Vicki, Lisa,
06:18
Veronica, Karen, Nikki, Cookie.
06:20
[Interviewer] Where'd you meet Cookie?
06:21
Oh I met her at the ice cream parlor.
06:23
Tanya, Diane, Lori and Carla.
06:25
Marina, Selena, Katrina, Sabrina,
06:28
about three Kims, what?
06:30
LaToya, and Tina.
06:32
There's others but we should probably keep moving.
06:35
[Interviewer] It's a random day in 1996,
06:37
what are you most likely doing?
06:39
Learning a Led Zeppelin guitar solo.
06:41
[Interviewer] It's a random day in 2006,
06:43
what are you most likely doing?
06:44
Getting ready for one of my awful early stand up sets.
06:47
[Interviewer] It's a random day in 2027.
06:49
What are you most likely doing?
06:50
Teleporting to Tokyo.
06:51
I got high hopes for them figuring out teleportation.
06:54
[Interviewer] Aziz, where you from?
06:55
I'm from South Carolina.
06:57
[Interviewer] No, no, like where you really from?
06:59
Racist.
07:00
OK, mandatory nod to Reddit.
07:02
Would you rather fight 100 duck-sized horses
07:05
or one horse-sized duck?
07:08
One horse-sized duck, but Little Sebastian
07:10
from Parks and Rec has to have my back.
07:12
[Interviewer] What's the last book you didn't finish?
07:14
A Life by Elia Kazan.
07:16
[Interviewer] Who's your favorite video game character?
07:17
Jax from Mortal Kombat 2.
07:19
[Interviewer] What's the best movie of all time?
07:21
Back to the Future, or The Apartment or Amarcord.
07:25
[Interviewer] What advice do you have
07:26
for Asian Americans aspiring to get into entertainment?
07:29
Don't ask questions like that,
07:30
you can do anything white people can do.
07:32
[Interviewer] What TV show would you
07:33
want to make a cameo in? Knight Rider.
07:35
[Interviewer] What famous person would you want
07:37
to play you in a movie?
07:39
Hopefully I'd get the part but,
07:40
I feel like with the way things are going
07:42
it'd probably be Dev Patel or Riz Ahmed.
07:44
[Interviewer] Hmm, those guys are really popular.
07:45
What if they're busy?
07:47
My dad.
07:48
[Interviewer] OK Aziz! (speaking Italian)
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